omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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