ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize