There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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