I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
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I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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