You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize