I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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