I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize