If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize