I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize