i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize