good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize