I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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