she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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