Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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