He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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