I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize