I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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