I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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