Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize