my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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