youre lurking in front of me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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