but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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