i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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