you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
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I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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