He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize