Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize