Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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