No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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