We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
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Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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