STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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