can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize