You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize