omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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