I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize