You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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