Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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