Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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