pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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