oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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