Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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