I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize