I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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