i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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