my sisters under your porch take her home
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize