Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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