Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
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Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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