can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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