i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
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You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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