How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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