He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize